this day is so damn tiring

october 28... birthday ng isa sa mga forever buddies ko, si emmy... at fiesta sa amin...pero im not expecting any visitor today kasi weekday... hehehe... i started the day with cleaning the house... actually continuing cleaning the house because i started the general cleaning last monday pa (you know with all the waxing the floor, wiping the furniture) and up to know i am not yet finished...

by mid-day, i started cooking baked macaroni and preparing fruit salad... ayon... hindi kami nakapanood ni emmy ng movie kasi masyado matrabaho ang napili kong dish... siguro sa friday na lang...

to my new found adviser

internet do really connects us... i found a new friend and sort of an adviser too... actually hindi ko talaga siya kilala... it all started by, that person commenting on one of my posts...

- to my very good adviser and new found friend... eventhough i dont know you... maraming salamat...

the second blow

after failing the exams... i observed that i became too emotional as well as sensitive... at ngayon ko pa lang makakausap nanay ko after what happened... i know 100% i will cry kapag kausap ko na sya... pero kailan nyang malaman plans ko kasi siya din naman gagastos sa review ko if ever magrereview ako ulit...

actually, taking up accountancy is my mother's idea... accepting it gave me an opportunity to go against her (that was almost 6 years) kasi hindi nya ako pinayagan magtrabaho after graduating business administration (business administration is my first and accountancy is my second degree) i just asked her to give me two years to work outside... to gain experience as well as new friends and connections... tapos babalik na ko sa tindahan namin para tumulong... eventually... nagustuhan ko na din yung accountancy... it taught me a lot and i gained new friends...

nag-usap kami ng nanay ko... as perceived... yun nga umiyak ako... i told her that i am sorry... that for the second time around... i disappointed her... nag-aral naman ako ng mabuti... talagang mahirap lang nga ang exam... sabi nya hindi ko naman daw siya na-disappoint and there will always be next time... siguro hindi pa ngayon ang tamang oras... ayon pumayag siya na magreview ako ulit... siguro ito na to...

P.S.
to lancemica... thank you for the nice comment... eventhough i dont know you personally... i want you to know that it is heart warming... thank you very much...

lancemica wrote...

"Life is like a game of tennis. You have no choice over how that ball comes to you, but it's how you hit it back that counts."

- Don't Stop Believing

i failed the october cpa board exam

while i was waiting for the results... hindi ko maintindihan ang feeling... excited na kinakabahan... buti na lang busy ako renewing my driver's license... the verdict hour came... (15:00) at kinakabahan ako... hindi mo naman na maiiaalis na somehow na umasa kang papasa kasi you worked hard for it... na hindi ka na natutulog... wala na ring lakwatsa at gala days... puros aral na lang talaga

the moment i learned that i failed... gusto kong umiyak... kaso ayaw lumabas ng luha ko siguro dahil kausap ko pa mga kaklase ko... pero when i talked to my tatay... doon na... walang ka-effort-effort... tumulo na lang ang luha ko... at kahit pinipigilan ko... parang it so relieving at that time na umiyak ako... gusto ko din sumigaw at magmura kaso i promised na hindi na ko magmumura just for the sake of expression...

this time para akong nabroken hearted na on denial stage pa... na kung detachable lang ang puso... sana inalis mo na muna para hindi mo maramdaman ang sakit at that very moment crying will be your best friend... to release the tension as well as the stress...

ngayon... hindi ko pa alam kung paano tatayo... ang alam ko kelangan ko ulit magtake ng board exams by may... pero wala pa kong concrete plan...

kung gaano ka-distort ang entry ko... ganoon din ako ngayon... i hope i could recover soon because until now it really hurts... im still asking ano ba ang ginawa nila na hindi ko ginawa na bakit sila pumasa ako hindi...

about the exam

ilang araw na lang exam na... kaya mas lalo akong kinakabahan... i know nagaaral naman ako ng mabuti... pero natural lang ang ganitong feeling... pero hindi ko ito gusto... sana pumasa ako...